Derby Wife vs Derby Widow

If you haven't noticed besides the actual sport of Roller Derby there is a whole culture that is quite interesting! I will share some of that culture with you a bit at a time. Fashion, Derby Monsters (sounds scary hey?..LOL) Shenanigans (such fun!), etc....

The focus of this post is to try my very best to explain Derby Wives and Derby Widows.  I think most of you have been able to very quickly see the respect and admiration I have and we all have for each other.  These are some of the quickest friendships I have developed and I am certain these will be lasting friendships! First you have to appreciate the amount of time that we spend together.  We practice 6 hours a week...you tack in travel time to and from practice, fundraising events, league meetings, team shenanigans etc... it turns into spending a lot of time with each other so friendships quickly develop.

Kitty Von Doom and Alise T'Kill
Right after the official announcement ..LOL

Myself I am VERY lucky! I have a Derby Wife (Miss Kitty Von Doom) and a small group of us regulars even refer to each other as Sister Wives (LOL I bet A&E would love to get the rights on that one!) .  I know Kitty Von Doom will have my back and I got hers :) As I know the same applies to my Sister Wives :)This is a summary that I found online written by Kasey Bomber ( LA Derby Dolls) and Ivanna S.Pankin (San Diego Derby Dolls) that sums up what a Derby Wife is pretty nicely.

 

A derby wife is quite simply this -

1. She is the one person in this whole sport of roller derby that the very instant you looked at her, you felt like you’d known her since you were a fetus. She looked just like your best friend from fifth grade, or something she did reminded you of all the things you ever liked in anyone else.
2. She is the first person you’d call if you ever need to get bailed out of jail. (Or in my case, ever need to have an entire legal crusade started in your name.)
3. She’s the one who will be holding back your hair when you puke after drinking too much, and she won’t let anyone take your picture while doing it.
4. She’ll ride in the ambulance with you when you lose a tooth, break your wrist, or tear your ACL.She’ll make you laugh the whole way to the hospital, try to steal your pain medication (lovingly), and sneak your favorite food and a beer into recovery.
5. She’ll make her actual husband understand that if he loves her, he’s gonna have to put up with you, too, no matter how many times you come over forcing him to revisit all the derby-related shows on his Tivo that you missed.
6. She may not even be your best friend in the league or the sport, but she’d be the one you know will be the first one to back you up, even if you’re dead wrong. She’ll just tell you you’ve lost your fucking mind later in private, possibly kick your ass a little bit, and then be the only one who could ever talk your hotheaded ass into some reason.
7. If you can find more than one derby wife who can meet those needs, then you are lucky indeed, but myself? I’m a one derby wife gal.

Now the term Derby Widow was coined because derby tends to become a quick obsession, and the derby girl spends soooo much time on derby practices and other events and tasks that her significant other is essentially a widow to derby.  My thought is as a husband/ boyfriend/partner you have three options here to avoid this: 1) Put your big boy panties on and suck it up and be as supportive in your partners new found love of Derby as she is in the things you enjoy!  2) Become involved yourself maybe a men's league or come to train as a Ref 3) Have to deal with the Derby Wife and a Mob of Sister Wives!...LMAO.  I personally have to say everyone I have meet their significant other is very supportive and we haven't had to resort to option #3.....YET

  

As for me, well I am a single gal and I have always had very simple things that I expect in a relationship.  Simple things that are harder to find than one would think...I have always been very supportive in the past of sports, hobbies and interests so I expect the same although I never really had my own thing before and now I do....I will say there is something about being a single Derby Girl that's kinda fun...I've never had so many free drinks or phone numbers...LOL.....It MUST be the fishnets, gee should bought those puppies long ago!...LMAO.  I will say I would love to find a boyfriend that is willing to wear this t-shirt....LOL.....any takers? ;)